‘So do you have a boyfriend?’ is a question I’ve heard many times. People are always confused when I respond with blank stares, and then eventually say ‘uh…no, I’m not into boys really,’. No one has ever been unkind to me as a result of this, but no one seems to expect it. Perhaps it’s because I’m relatively feminine, more so than some heterosexual women, or maybe it’s just because I’m not as vocal about my sexuality as some, but yes, I’m a lesbian.
I realized I wasn’t straight about 4 years ago now, I had a crush on a girl but I was determined not to register it to begin with. Then about a year ago I realized I really had no interest in boys, I can feel sexual attraction towards men, and I do believe everyone is fluid, but honestly I can’t imagine being in a relationship with one, I’ve only ever experienced romantic attraction to women. I also came out to my close friends and family last year. Obviously, as any member of the LGBT+ community would tell you, it was a nerve-racking experience, but I knew they’d all be fine with it; both my parents are very liberal and accepting, as are my friends- I probably wouldn’t be friends with them in the first place if they weren’t. That definitely took a lot of the pressure off and made me feel more comfortable about my sexuality.
I never came out on Facebook like a lot of people do as I just didn’t feel the need to, but if someone is genuinely important to me, then I tell them. Plus after being in the closet for so long, its somewhat liberating to tell people, no matter what their reaction. But how do I feel about myself? It’s hard to say. I’ve accepted who I am, and I do like myself as a person. Plus being in a relationship with someone of the same-sex makes me genuinely happy and I certainly wouldn’t trade that for anything. But of course there are difficulties; I do fear prejudice, like a lot of LGBT+ teens do, as statistically speaking, the majority of people are heterosexual and cisgender. Also theres the little things, such as when my friends (who are mostly female) are talking about that hot new male celebrity who they all want a piece of, and I can’t join in. There’s certainly a feeling of isolation, as their is with anyone who is a minority.
But despite what I’ve felt sometimes, I know no one is ever alone. There’s hundreds of support groups and charities set up to assist LGBT+ individuals, which I am so thankful for, and it fills me with joy to think how far we’ve come in terms of equality. It’s wonderful to see how many YouTube videos there are of indivduals expressing their sexuality or gender identity, and how increasing amounts of celebrities and other influential people are speakingout in support of LGBT+ rights. I’m also proud of myself in terms of how far I’ve come in accepting myself. Although my writing may not have an impact on many people, I really hope it does help any young LGBT+ individuals who need it. It’s ok to not be in that heterosexual majority, after all, how boring would the world be if everyone was the same!
So embrace yourself no matter who you like. And as for me- no boyfriend? No worries.
images sourced from: http://www.stoppingthehate.org/